


RITES, WRITINGS AND RIS APPENDIX

by Dollypegs, Stevie_Foxx



Series: Dwarf Telenovela Central [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Other, Rites Writings and Ris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:51:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9480038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dollypegs/pseuds/Dollypegs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stevie_Foxx/pseuds/Stevie_Foxx
Summary: Every last rotten, stinking pop culture reference in the entire work!





	

 

APPENDIX TO RITES, WRITINGS AND RIS  
This will be updated as the story progresses.

 

Chapter 1  
**Yes, if you have a chance** to have a good look at a goat in person, they do have square/oblong pupils.

Chapter 2:  
**Chicken** as mentioned in one of the chapter summaries, came from a cast joke and taken up by #hatted_hedgehog and there by became a common AO3 and Tumblr character. It is with respect and love we included the idea of Dwalin having a pet chicken that Nori steals and gives to Ori.

**“I’ll get you, my pretty**!” - Wicked Witch - Wizard of Oz movie 1939. The first screen adaptation was in 1902!

Chapter 3

**Thor’s goats** in Viking mythology are Toothgrinder and Toothgnasher. Dwalin’s goat is Gnasher and it’s found out later that Balin’s goat is Grinder.

**The arctic flowers are purple saxifrage,** very pretty, edible and here’s a nice starting point. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saxifraga_oppositifolia

**We came across a clip** with Graham McTavish talking about riding the ponies in the movie An Unexpected Journey (2012) and wanting to call his ‘Harley’ as Dwalin was a big biker of a person.

**Squab** \- young(domestic) pigeon.usually killed for their (supposedly) delicious meat.Among the poor of Dale anything that gives you eggs you’d keep around, so the little eggs are along the lines of pullet eggs.

 

Chapter 4  
**The tailor** to presidents here in the US is a Martin Greenwald. We were stuck for a name for a tailor and thus twisted this famous one all about.

**“Jill”** is a term employed by the amazing #Sam Ptarmagin. We adore her stories and particularly her representation of Dori, so this is our way of telling people to go and read them as they are marvelous. Bearer is such a formal word and jill would be a term used by common folk.

**In the US chips are what the Brits call ‘crisps** ’ and the British chips are so much more delicious than any thing the US calls a french fry. So Ori likes the Brit chips.

“ **Fried chicken eggs, bacon, spicy sausage, blood sausage, morels, tomatoes, fried bread, and beans in tangy sweet sauce”** \- basically a traditional British breakfast ‘fry-up’ and yes, those are baked beans.

**The poem of Shire’s** is Bilbo’s song when he leaves Bag-End for Rivendell in The Fellowship of the Ring. “The Road goes ever on and on”

**“You! Out!”** is a private joke between Stevie and Dolly and Stevie pops it in whenever she feel like she can get away with it.

**“Fuck a duck”** is a common cuss phrase both Dolly and Stevie use.

**Ori trying to slug Dwalin while Dwalin has him in a hold**. This was a pic floating around the ‘net. McTavish and Brown are perhaps at a premiere or another formal occasion to do with the Hobbit movies. They’re wearing black formal suits. The looks on their faces is priceless and Stevie had to put the characters in a similar situation.

Chapter 5  
**“took off his trousers, climbed on the table and yelled ‘Does anybody want a fight?’. […] an old baboon”** \- this is from Dylan Thomas’ “Under Milkwood”

**“The quick brown fox jumps over th’ lazy dog”** \- this is an old thing from typing classes, on typewriters. It was a practice as it uses every letter of the alphabet.

**“a word, a look, will be enough”** \- Captain Wentworth wrote these words to Anne in the movie ‘Persuasion” 1997.

**“When he was a babe, he had our Umad’s eyes.” “’S aright,” Dwalin told Ori. “We took ‘em outa his mouth right after.”** \- This is a joke from the movie Addams Family Values 1993 And it's a damn good joke.

Chapter 6  
“ **Right up […] jacksies** ” - Ori says something like this at the table in Bag-end in “An Unexpected Adventure” (2012).

“ **with the pin of […] eye** ” - Line from the Broadway musical Cats.

Chapter 7  
**Ludovic shot the wicks off sixteen candles** for a wager at Mrs. Ashley’s. This is from Georgette Heyer’s The Talisman Ring. A wonderfully funny book and one of Stevie’s favorites. Many of Heyer’s books are readily available in local libraries in the UK and US.

**“enameled tin teapot of butter yellow with green cornets** ” - Stevie’s grandfather’s morning teapot. He and her aunt had tea first thing like this. It’s a pleasant memory of them both.

**“Balin flicked it open to reveal a magnifier”** \- this is from Unexpected Journey (2012) when Balin flicks open a magnifier to look at Bilbo’s signature on the contract.

**“not half dressed.”** \- Mrs. Bennet shrieking at Jane in Pride and Prejudice in 1995 (UK), 1996(US).

Chapter 8

**What is Erebor made of?** \- Balin sings a line from the old folk song “Big Rock Candy Mountain”, first recorded by Harry McClintock in 1928

**rag and bone shops** \- an old term for shops of cheap, second-hand goods, that sell almost anything. More history on the rag and bone people who worked on their own is also readily available and eye-opening.

**“fruity as a nut cake”** \- nutty as a fruitcake - crazy

Chapter 9

**bonce** \- a rude expression for hair and /or head

**swede** \- a large turnip

**Annotated Arrangement of Codes for Research** \- Anglo-American Cataloguing rules, AACR2 - rules for cataloging used by the Library of Congress

**Research, Discussion, and Admission** \- Resource Description and Access, the successor of AACR2 that allows …. If you’re interested in it by all means ask and research. It would take far too long to explain here.

**Doowhee Dezimahl** \- The Dewey Decimal System. Call numbers used by many libraries, different from the LC call system. Stevie doesn’t like it. In polite terms, Stevie has worked with both and prefers the LC system

Chapter 10

**In these clothes, m’love? I don’t think so** \- a tweak on the quote “In these shoes? I don’t thinks so” from the song "In These Shoes?" by Kirsty MacColl on the album Tropical Rainstorm (2000). She wrote it, and later Bette Midler covered it.

**cosset** \- baby rabbit

**butty** \- buttered roll

**chook** \- chicken

Chapter 11

**Granny pie** \- We made it up. But will come up with a recipe for it.

**“Oh! These old things? Why I only wear them when I don’t care how I look" -** Okay, we blew this.It was NOT Donna Reed as Mary Hatch who says this in It's A Wonderful Life (1946), but the character of Violet Blick, played by Gloria Grahame in the same movie.Shout out to Vigdis for setting us right, complete with following exchange between Violet and George Bailey, played by the ever-Wonderful Jimmy Stewart:

Violet Bick: Good afternoon, Mr. Bailey.

George Bailey: Hello, Violet. Hey, you look good, that's some dress you got on there.

Violet Bick: This old thing? Why, I only wear it when I don't care how I look. BTW, that last line is complete with hair-flip . :)

**Carrot mold** \- In that it is an orange fungus that grows on metals, there’s no such thing. We made it up. Damn useful, though.

**dice must be uphills** \- dice are loaded.

Chapter 12

**rest your poor nerves** \- Mrs. Bennett again.

Chapter 13

**we dwarrow’re natural sprinters** \- Gimli from The Two Towers movie 2002

**kiss him** \- https://youtu.be/cjjqrxKTVWk A proper piece of music for kissing.  
Most Epic Music Ever: Crescendo. Skip to mark 1:30!

Chapter 14

**Donelan** \- Gerard Donelan is an excellent, prolific cartoonist. He used to be regularly featured in the Advocate. A nice start is Wikipedia.

**cooshy-doos** \- old Scottish word for pigeons or doves.

  
Chapter 16

**Gravy course** \- courtesy of Tumblr True Dwarf Facts #263

[chrain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrain) \- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrain

 

[Lecsó ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lecs%C3%B3)\- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lecs%C3%B3

 

topinambour - 

 

[diplomat pudding](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabinet_pudding) \- [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabinet_pudding](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabinet_pudding)

 

[figgy duff](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figgy_duff_\(pudding\)) \- [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figgy_duff_(pudding)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figgy_duff_\(pudding\))

 

[frozen dessert](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-Jhx2sjQiA) \- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-Jhx2sjQiA

 

[flute](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhYWA-bJ9vg) \- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhYWA-bJ9vg

  
**All of these are found on youtube:**

NuMeditationMusic  
Calm Celtic Flute Music: Instrumental Celtic Music for Sleeping and Deep Relaxation:  
flute - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhYWA-bJ9vg

Saor Patrol-Toom Tabard by Lovresast:  
pipes and drum were insistent. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohlryrd2zaQ

Scottish Sword Dance, Dickens Christmas Fair 2009, performed by Joshua of the Siamsa La Cheile dancers. Check out the flash on the back of his kilt!  
dance - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh3tANSDYEs

Do Virgins Taste Better by the Brobdingnagian Bards:  
dragons and maidens. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv-_oIzn-9E

The Scottish Fiddle Orchestra - The Eightsome Reel:  
reel. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvHeTArCnYQ

Chapter 17

**Fasten your seatbelts, we’re in for a bumpy night** \- from the late and great Ms. Bette Davis, from ‘All About Eve’, 1950.Marilyn Monroe’s first screen appearance, very brief cameo.

**Braces** \- In the US, suspenders. In Britain, suspenders are used with garters belts.

**Nineteen to the dozen** \- A lot, a lot.

**“Gimli, the princes, and their cousins…** “ They’re tweeting, texting, chatting, etc. Ori is ‘Facebooking’, hardeeharhar.

**slain him with a single axe blow from his eyes** \- It’s a joking twist on a line from Georgette Heyere’s Black Sheep, another favorite. The line is “[…] slain with a single dart from your eyes” -Abby to her niece Fanny

**I’ll catch a beard** \- joke from [ flatbear.tumblr.com](http://flatbear.tumblr.com)

 

**“Imagine wanting to flirt with an elf!** ” - “Imagine wanting to marry a clergyman!” - A line from the BBC Pride and Prejudice 1996.

**“I don’t care much for elf maids myself…** ” - A line from An Unexpected Journey, (2012) in which instance Kili mistakes an elf male for an elf maid at Rivendell.

Chapter 22

**I haven’t seen paper used this way in years** \- We’ve based this idea on the old way of what was called ‘crossing’ letters. It was used because postage was expensive and paid for by the page, so, if your hand writing was very small and neat you could turn the page 90 degrees and write 'across' the first lines, getting two pages on one page.

Chapter 23

**some little cakes so light you won't know you're eating them**. - Mrs. Sarah Nidd from Heyer’s ‘Cousin Kate’.

**A dwarf on a pig in flight!** \- “When pigs fly” common term for never. Not everyone’s heard it.

**a prosy old windbag** \- ‘Cousin Kate’ again. This time Mr. Phillip Broom to the butler, Pennymore.

**snockered** \- very drunk.

**a view of the full moon** \- Flash the butt.

**Loyalty. Honor. A willing heart... I can ask no more than that** \- Thorin from An Unexpected Journey (2012).

Chapter 24

**excitement, and adventure, and really wild things!** \- Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, second book in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by the late Douglas Adams, published in 1980.

**knack with pastry** \- Mrs. Nidd again.

**violet eyes and dark brows** \- From These Old Shades by Heyer. The first of her novels Stevie then Dolly read.

Chapter 25

**drink a tablespoonful everyday** \- What with all the media raving about the healthy benefits of apple cider vinegar, we couldn’t resist.

Chapter 26

**peppery fish stew of trout, bass, perch, eel, leeks, garlic, and parsley simmering in white wine and tomatoes** \- This is a Portuguese fish stew. Neither of us particularly fancy eating this, so you are rather on your own to find a recipe and make it.

**ChoPPER!** \- Pronounced in the same manner the greeting from the wonderful late Minnie Pearl: “How-DEEE!”

Chapter 27

**I'm a horned horsey** \- If you don’t know, it’s for the best.

**bumfled up** \- (pron: bum-fulled) Take some material, and ruffle it all up in your arms without the least order into a crumpled heap and it’s now bumfled.

**shit for pies** \- mis-hearing something like this is a private joke between Dolly and Stevie.

**Salt-soak** \- in this case using a lot of salt in bathwater.

Chapter 28

**so accomplished!** \- Miss Bingley describing Miss Georgiana Darcy in Pride and Prejudice by Jane A.

**It was forty three,** \- Gimli and Legolas’ argument from The Two Towers (2002)

**pickled tomato puree** \- it’s ketchup.

**maple mead** \- is a thing. Finding it is another.

**Say good night, Kili** \- In reference to the early female comedian Gracie Allen. George Burns was her husband and straightman. She was extraordinarly clever woman and a comic genius. At the end of their performances together George would say, “Say good night, Gracie.” and she would respond “Goodnight Gracie.” thus, their tag line.

Chapter 29

**Eggr, Alyne and P** o - Edgar Allen Poe, but you knew that.

**Ada told me they’re buried with them** \- This an old long story about someone we knew and wouldn’t make any sense, anyway.

**“Good people Broadbeams,” said Dain.  “Good soup”** \- From the freakin’ amazing “Sansukh” by the Empress of all Tolkien fanfic, #determamfidd

Chapter 30

**Mr. Remo Fernandes’ “Flute Song”** \- This can be found in a lot of different You Tube channels but this is the one we listened and liked.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MXzO45pTb8

Chapter 31

**There’s an inn, there’s an inn, There’s a merry old inn** \- Bofur’s song in Rivendell in An Unexpected Journey (2012).

**“I’m afraid I’m not dressed for dinner,”** Tharkûn commented as he removed his hat. “Yeh never are” - Tharkûn said this to Elrond and ‘You never are’ was Elrond’s reply - in An Unexpected Journey.

**potato liquor** \- vodka and caviar. With black bread and butter are delicious!

**rabbit from a handkerchief** \- sometimes called a mouse from a handkerchief. There’s a knack to tying a handkerchief to look like one. YouTube has several videos on how to do it, so we won’t waste time trying to describe it.

**tha’ pig drunk again** \- Chopper is not drunk. We actually worked out how much ale Chopper would have to drink to get drunk using the Cleveland Clinic’s Blood Alcohol Calculator and figuring Chopper to weigh in around 1350lbs and a tankard can be about 16-22oz.

**water and hard biscuits** \- Another Heyer reference. This time from “Venetia”. Venetia’s aunt Hendred eats these as a strict reducing diet, she starts with vinegar but finds out that it was soda water. This was apparently the diet Lord Byron used as he was “apt to put on flesh”.

Chapter 33

**Needs t’ be hurled wi’ great force.** \- Attributed to the inimitable Dorothy Parker, this quote was probably originated in slightly different form by Sid Ziff in the Los Angles Mirror-News circa 1960. Dorothy actually did write about book-as-projectile while reviewing Kathleen Norris' 'Beauty and the Beast', for The New Yorker in 1928. Said book mysteriously took flight out a 12th story window.

**Dwarrow are heavy** \- this is from the most fabulous cartoon by http://kaseydoodles.tumblr.com/ , as near as we can figure out, who drew a hilarious series with Legolas and Gimli dancing. If you know otherwise or you are the artist, please contact us as soon as possible, so we can give appropriate credit.

**“People come and go so quickly here,”** \- Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz movie 1939. We love that movie. Dolly is all about the movie. Stevie loves it but finds it odd, having devoured all the Oz books by L. Frank Baum. Stevie also prefers the O’Neil illustrations to the Denslow.

**Away from here, to be happy with T’dillah** \- Mary Musgrove nee Elliot, in the 1995 movie of Austen’s Persuasion, “And all gone away to be happy in Bath”

Chapter 34

**Now, now, turn about is fair play** \- Commander Troi to Commander Data in the episode 'Phantasms' from Season 7 of Star Trek - the Next Generation (originally aired 10/23/93). "It's a cellular peptide cake, with mint frosting."

Chapter 35

**you would free him** \- When Thranduil killed the orc in Desolation of Smaug (2013).

**I didn’t approach, I arrived** \- like she ‘arrived’ at the White Council in Unexpected Journey.

**Aye, but yeh drifted** \- Mae West: “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

  
Chapter 36

**so deedy** \- Selina Wendover from Heyer’s “Black Sheep”

**“Queen T’dillah!  How well that sounds!”** \- Lydia Wickham - A &E’s Pride and Prejudice 1996 “Mrs. Wickham. How well that sounds!”

**dessert** was T’dillah’s favorite - this ‘thing’ does exist. It’s from Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, Souvenir Edition, from 1965, only it had strawberry sauce on it. The picture is frightening!

Chapter 37

**vinaigrette** \- fine ladies and a few fine gentlemen used to carry these. It was to revive them if they felt faint. It did contain vinegar or other strong smelling substance. This is related to hartshorn, smelling salts, burnt feathers, etc. A staple of Regency and other ‘period’ romances.

**grey material knotted about their upper right arms. The females wore grey gloves and hats.** \- again very old fashioned mannerisms or extremely formal.

**povyazka** \- traditional Russian women's ‘hat’. A povyazka was worn by young, unmarried women, it's a type of Kokoshnik, tiara-like headdress.Wikipedia will give you a picture and a detailed explanation.

Chapter 38

**Live long and prosper.** \- Yes, Star Trek, yes Vulcan greeting/leave taking. Gandalf says it because it’s funny.

**Go, go, we would not wish you back agai** n - Lizzy Bennet of Mr. Wickham in A&E Pride and Prejudice 1996.

**only the greatest love with tempt me into marriage** \- Lizzy Bennet again.

**if I have very good luck, I may in time meet with another** \- ibid

Chapter 39

**metal bowls clamped shut** \- tiffin pot!! A wonderful thing

**Kthulluh** \- Cthuluh. Yes, we’re fans of Lovecraft, too.

Chapter 40

**scree** \- “small stones that slid down when trodden on” - The concise Oxford dictionary, 4th edition Clarendon Press, 1951. Nothing useful at any rate.

**gnish** \- knish - delicious!

**a matching pattern of cream background emblazoned with fat crimson and peach colored roses and gold trim** \- Royal Albert, pattern: old country roses. It’s overdone, heinous and rather cute.

**iklar** \- she means eclair also deliciously amazing. Do have one!

**Now there will be a great marriage** \- Mrs. Bennet, P &P, 1996.

**seein’ yeh dance […] “Yer so light on yer feet**. - Louisa Musgrove, Persuasion 1995.

**skull hammer** \- An imaginary dwarrow medical instrument. Do not try this at home, or anywhere else, for that matter.

**begin at the beginning** \- King of Hearts, Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carrol.

**‘Bird** ’ is Dale slang for a woman - as it also is in the UK and likely influenced places.

Chapter 41

… **la di dah, la di dah…** \- Mrs. Bennet, P &P, 1996.

Chapter 42

**Pinky swear** \- depending on where you come from this is a child’s way of promising. Like swearing of yourself, crossing your heart or swearing on a deity or holy book. The people involved interlock their pinky fingers and this is a sign of your truth, usually not to leave someone out or more often not to tell.

**Universal teal** \- this is a joke on fashion designers or people who do ‘color studies’ on what looks best on you per your complexion. Usually people are classed as by seasons like summers, winters and in-betweens such as late springs. There is a shade referred to as ‘universal turquoise’ which all can wear.

**seersucker** \- is a type of material. Wikipedia will, no doubt, give you a nice brief description if you feel inclined towards more information.

**the bog** \- the bathroom, UK and some related places.

  
Chapter 43

**Chintz** \- “cotton cloth fast printed with partlicoloured pattern  & usu. glazed”; The concise Oxford dictionary, 4th edition Clarendon Press, 1951.

**Aldernay** \- A breed of cattle now extinct, but for cross-breeds, once bred on the Island of Aldernay in the Channel Islands. The pure breed became extinct after WWII. There are pictures on the ‘net, and it is quite a pretty cow. Thus the name of the character who bred the ‘Dale’ cow.

**travelers** \- No, they are not Romany people, more like the folks who travel with medieval/renaissance fairs or carnivals and the like. Anywhere and have anything from preforming dogs to acrobats to games of chance and fortune-tellers.

**Great Woudini** \- The name is from Harry Houdini, the escape artist. As to the general schtick and wardrobe: Remember in the Wizard of Oz film from 1939, Dorothy’s first encounter with the ‘wizard’?Our Woudini does it for fun and adapts his clothing to however he feels the moment requires. He’s been sitting having an enjoyable chat with Ori’s company and no doubt has observed and listened to everything they’ve said and seems to have ‘prophesied’ using what he’s learned/made up to amuse them.

**EenyMeenyGelateeny…** \- EenyMeenyjellybeeny, is the original from Rocky and Bullwinkle but Erebor hasn’t invented/heard of jellybeans yet.

**This stopped being cute when you turned forty**. —by ogg on tumblr, this is the closest we’ve come to be able to find the original artist. If you know otherwise or you are the artist, please contact us as soon as possible, so we can give appropriate credit.

**wide road of yellow brick** \- Hey, we’ve so many Oz references, why not this, too!

**be worn to a thread** \- another Heyer-ism.

Chapter 44

**if my own dresser had the styling of his hair I shouldn’t be ashamed to be seen with him anywhere** \- Sir Walter Elliot, Persuasion 1995

**elegant sufficiency** \- You’re full of food.From the film ’Topsey-Turvey 1999, directed by Mike Leigh.

 

**Crawfish** \- also known as crayfish and they do make good eating. The signal crayfish, Pacifastacus leniusculus, is a North American species of crayfish.  
They also shed their shells as they grow. Dwalin is thinking of spiders like Rutile (tarantulas) which also shed. You Tube has some fascinating videos of various people’s pets doing so.

**Egret** \- In this case a Snowy Egret, which is a small heron (relatively speaking, they can grow to be 24" long). Latin 'Egretta thula'.

**Fossils** \- of course dwarrow know about these as dwarrow turn to stone after they die. Although at a faster rate than most marine life.

**Loon** \- the common loon, a water bird, about the size of a duck, with webbed feet and a distinct call. Latin 'Gavia mimer'. To be called 'crazy as a loon' is to be called crazy indeed.

**Skipping stones over water** \- Exactly as described.

**had tied theirs up in messy buns** \- it was a popular joke in many a fan artwork posted to Tumblr, we felt obliged to have the boys sporting ‘man-buns’ at least once.

**roving** \- a pile of unspun wool.

**a savory smelling, golden soup** \- This is one of our favorite Indian meals. The characters start with coconut soup, they then have Chicken Tikka marsala, rice with cardamon, saag paneer, and raita with the radishes and cucumber. They drink mango lassis then have gulab jamun for dessert. They have chai and darjeeling tea after. The raitas, marsala spices, lassi, and chai are based on the recipes in Gita Patel’s “Blending science with spices” published by Feeding Health ©2011 - www.FeedingHealth.com. As with any recipe, you can adjust to your own tastes as we do, primarily as both Dolly and Stevie are spice wimps.

**light tea was served with honey and lemon** Darjeeling and Chai to finish the meal

**Moon moth** \- This is a what commonly known as a luna moth or by its latin name: Actias luna. It's soft lime green in color and can have a wingspan four and a half inches wide.

  
Chapter 45

**satin plush fruits, stuffed and sewn together** \- based on the late inimitable Carmen Miranda and her hat in the song “Tutti-frutti Hat” from the outrageous flick ‘The Gang’s All Here’, a musical extravaganza by the similarly outrageous Busby Berkeley, 1943. His first technicolor film, it has to be seen to be believed.

**It was a single item affair** \- Dwalin and Ori’s bathing costumes are similar to those sported by Victorian era gentlemen. Thus Dwalin feeling strangely pushed to saying things like “I say” and Frightfully”

**hat of straw, bleached white** \- a ‘boater’, the streamers are for Stevie and Dolly’s amusement.

**only had one strap** \- like those worn by Johnny Weissmuller, Hollywood’s most famous Tarzan.

**"but in a sense, I am broccoli.** " - Kili’s suit is kind of a terrible ‘Robin Hood’ variety, thus the red feather. We also rather thought he made a lovely “Jolly Green Giant” - a popular brand of prepared vegetable in the US and a few other places. The broccoli part: Ha! That is from the episode El Seed from ‘The Tick’ cartoon. The Tick was created by Ben Edlund for the New England Comics company. Spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!

**white upside-down flower pot** \- Yes, we gave Gimli a ‘fez’ and you must admit, Legolas would look ‘dead funny’ in it.

**Kettle well** \- also known as a kettle hole or pothole. A pocket of natural water, often isolated from larger bodies of water, and produced by the motions of glaciers.  
See Wikipedia for an overview: https://en.wiki/Kettle_(landform)

 

Chapter 46

 

 **tiny fish** \- minnows!

 

 **“Jus’ when yeh though’ it was safe t’ go int’ th’ water, eh?”** \- Paraphrase of the tag line for the movie “Jaws”.Admit it, you can hear the sound of the shark approaching!

 

 **somehow glued to its back** \- a caddisfly

 

“ **This stopped being funny when you were a hundred forty!** ” - See the appendix note for Chapter 43.

 

 **"Mr. Underhill went to the market, because he wanted apples for pie**." - Mr. Underhill is the ‘assumed name’ Frodo uses in the Fellowship of the Ring.

 

 **"Gracious!She stole his yellow basket!"** \- The ‘plot’ of the song ‘A Tisket A Tasket’, by Ella Fitzgerald.

 

 **"It was there 'cause it got lost.** " - Remember, not all who wander are lost… except for Thorin!He got lost twice!

 

 **a true proficient** \- Anne Elliot, Persuasion, 1995.

 

 **"I found myself in a dark wood wandering."** \- From the first line of Dante’s Inferno.He Which Cannot Be Named embedded in the ice in the lowest ring of hell.It’s the devil, not Voldemort!

 

 **Said I something amiss** \- Sir Walter Elliot, Persuasion 1995.

 

Chapter 47

 

 **pop the whip** \- This is a kids game and the only way we can think of explaining it is that it’s similar to dancing the dupkee with lots more screaming, violence and no musical accompaniment.

 

 **saw it in the window and just had to have it**. - From the Carol Burnett Show, when they did a skit on Gone with the Wind and Carol left the curtain rod in her dress.If you have a chance to find it, watch it.She says that line.

 

 **Mae Govannen** \- elvish greeting: “Well met.”

 

 **dark, slightly bitter brew** \- like oolong

 

 **Hot and sour soup** \- yes, it does have day lily flowers, these ones: Hemerocallis citrina

 

 **bamboo** \- if you can get it, use fresh instead of the canned, so much better.

 

 **sticks** \- chopsticks, because nothing is funnier than learning to eat with them if you’ve never done so.Stevie knows this as she really didn’t learn until she was in her teens.Her first attempts were… messy.

 

 **hikama** \- (actual spelling: jicama, Pachyrhizus erosus) is real and is delicious.

 

 **Dessert** \- almond do (pronounced like ‘dough’) is a flavored gelatin dessert made with agar (from seaweed) and is exactly as described.Dolly likes it.Stevie doesn’t.Also goes under the names of Annin tofu, xingren doufu or almond jelly.

 

 **It’s very light** \- this is an old family joke and is always said about dessert after consuming a large meal to the point of bursting.

 

 **agar** \- properly agar agar is a “tasteless dried seaweed” as stated in ‘The food lover’s companion’, Sharon Tyler Herbst and Ron Herbst, 4th edition, Barrons, New York, ©2007.Actually, for any food questions, we recommend this very useful book.

 

**being outside** \- this is from a clip of Adam and Graham partially in costume discussing doing scenes that were outside but inside.It was just so funny and cute.

 

 **Mahal’s hammer to dance** \- Old tease about catholic school dances.Boys and girls could dance together but not too close together as they must leave room between their bodies ‘for the Holy Spirit’

 

 **Beleghost body wag** \- it’s  very loosely based on the old dance called ’The Wiggle”, popular in 1962 written by Jack Hammer aka Earl Solomon Burroughs (September 16, 1925 – April 8, 2016), known professionally as Jack Hammer, was an American pianist, singer, and songwriter, credited as the co-writer of "Great Balls of Fire" - “Wikipedia”.And like every new thing considered either shocking, hilarious or both by the previous generation.

 

 **Shoogle** \- Old Scottish expression and ….. idiomatic.Kind of a shake with extras.

 

 

Chapter 48

 

 **Toast dipped in tea** \- a rather lachrymose ‘meal’ consumed by fine lady’s of delicate nerves cast into gloom in many of Heyer’s regency novels.No idea why Thrandy’s eating it, other than he didn’t fancy anything else

 

 **tightie-whities** \- mens jockey shorts, underpants.

 

 **You are too good!Your sweetness and disinterested are truly** \- Elizabeth Bennet, P &P 1996.

 

 **druthers** \- old Scots, preferences.

 

 **Throw it over my left shoulder with my right hand** \- This is an old fashion way of trying to guess your husband’s name.The peel drops into the first initial of the man’s name.A rather sexist and confusing form of divination.You’d probably have better luck asking the Great Woudini.

 

 **the sauce burbled** \- A really good tomato sauce to serve over pasta.We’ve used the seasonings we like.Probably not completely authentically Italian, but is what we like with pasta.

 

 **my latest acquisition** \- Bombur has a pasta machine!!Dolly and Stevie dream of having one.You can feed ‘pasta machine’ into Google images and see one.There will be recipes for ‘proper’ pasta dough, too.

 

 **Orocarni** \- dwarrow from the Orocanis, a mountain range.

 

 **noodles** \- Spaghetti!!!

 

 **animal called a bavlo** \- water buffalo, the Italian type from which mozzarella cheese is made from the milk.Which is the cheese Ori’s eating.

 

 **Coffee** \- Yup.Nothing like a hot cuppa of coffee with a good slug or two of Bailey Irish cream!

 

 **minnows** \- The actual name of the game is Sardines.It’s played pretty much as described except the blindfolds.Dwarrow and elves have much better eyesight so we popped in the blindfolds to compensate.Stevie found the game in an old book which came from one or other set of grandparents.It’s called the Home Entertainer, edited by Sid G. Hedges, Odhams Press Ltd. The copyright date is listed as G. 639, so we’re guessing 1939. And makes for a hilarious read. 

 

 **draughts** \- in the UK and ‘checkers’ in the USA

 

 **rummy** \- matching cards type of game.

 

 **backgammon** \- A game involving a board, checkers and dice.Stevie has no idea how it’s played.

 

 **Uncle Bu’ror aka great-great-uncle Bullroarer** \- Bilbo’s illustrious ancestor - Big enough to ride a horse, knocked the head off an orc so hard it went down a rabbit hole and thus invented the game of golf.Ask Gandalf.

 

 **green tea** \- It’s a thing and Dolly says with milk and honey it does taste like melon.

 

 

Chapter 49

 

 **coffee in tiny cups** \- espresso.Very strong, dark and bitter.Like Stevie’s soul!

 

 **small square of cake and a cube of firm pudding** \- tiramisu, an absolutely divine Italian dessert.Go have some if you never have and for those of an ambitious turn, there are lots of online recipes.

 

 **"The hills!  They're alive!"** \- For those in the know; Dolly couldn’t resist!Anyone else, a play on the opening of the flick “Sound of Music” ©1965, starring Dame Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer in a musical about the von Trapp family escaping from under Nazi rule in Switzerland. 

 

 **all tha' jumpin' around** \- as those who have never owed one, do occasionally wonder if, when jumping up and down, it feels as funny as it looks.

 

 

Chapter 50

 

 **Plantains** \- a species of banana and when sliced and fried as yummy as f*ck.

 

 **don't want your flowers to say the wrong things.** \- Here we’re using the meaning as Dolly researched online and a few other places. 

 

 **roses presented stems first** \- an insult among the Japanese

 

**Big beans** \- Lima beans.

 

 **O slender as a willow** **wand** \- Kili is channeling Tom Bombadill’s song to Goldberry from Fellowship of the Ring.Unfortunately, Kili doesn’t share Old Tom’s gift with a rhyme.

 

 **have** **xocolātl** **chunks** -Yup, they get chocolate chip cookies.

 

 **Vug** \- a hollow in volcanic rock in which minerals develop crystals.

 

 **Vug Magazine** \- a fashion magazine for ultra-chic dwarrow, obviously from the same publishers as Better Mines and Tunnels.Dipfa has a lifetime subscription.

 

 **Great Dale Chicken Emergency** \- The “Great Hoboken Chicken Emergency” by Daniel Pinkwater, Simon and Schuster ©1977 Dolly knows it well. 

 

 **Do you… fondue?** \- Stevie thoroughly enjoyed the Captain America” movie from 2011.

 

 **Shimmy** \- they’re playing a dwarrow variant of the game ‘Twister™’ from Milton Bradley.

 

 **Consequences** \- This is an actual game played as described. Best played with more than three people and up to seven.Stevie learned it as a child.

 

 **Citrus wine** \- Limoncello, delicious and potent.

 

 **Oh m-y-y-y** \- Uncle George!King of FaceBook and the internet!We love him!

 

 **Candle pudding** \- Our dessert variation of a mid-century modern American dish called ‘candlestick salad’.This er…travesty of cooking is too funny not to include.

 

 **the cherry, stem and all, into his mouth**. \- Neither of us made up this naughty trick!However it is quite do-able.Dolly’s managed it.The secret is to chew up the stem a little to make it more flexible.

 

 

Chapter 51

 

 **silver ink on black paper.** If you don’t know, you’re too young to be a Duran-y.

 

 **The Infernal Adventures of Durin the Deathless, a Prophecy in Three Volumes**. \- Dante again.

 

 **put a pony away wet** \- There’s an expression that goes “______ looks like ____was ridden hard and put away wet” means someone looks completely exhausted.Also you should always take proper care of your pony(s) and brush and dry them.

 

 **Aaaah, Rutile!** \- Kili doesn’t like the taste of spider web material, neither Dolly nor Stevie knows what it tastes like.If anyone knows, do please describe the taste to us.

 

Chapter 52

 

 **jam bags** \- Er….Trolls, according to Kili, don’t have any.- From Battle of Five Armies, and Jam bags is a funny expression

 

 **Three noses and both your eyes on one side of your head** \- Both Dolly and Stevie appreciate the genius of the late Pablo Picasso, but some times his stuff just looks funny. Picasso’s portrait of Nori would be glorious, wouldn’t it!

 

 **gwakas** \- The Spanish word for avocado is guaca.The Spanish word for word for sauce is molé.Gaucamole is exactly that, avocado sauce.Traditionally it’s made in a molcajete, a mortar and pestle of basalt.

 

 **Cilantro** \- Coriandrum sativum, It’s also called Chinese parsley.You either like it or you don’t.Dolly’s older sister will not eat it under any circumstances.Dolly would happily bathe in it.

 

 **zingria** \- Sangria, a drink made of fruit, fruit juice, wine and spices.It’s usually served over ice and ‘cut’ about half and half with club or citrus soda.

 

 **Badgers and alcohol** \- it would be politically correct to say minors should never drink alcohol, even though, in many cultures, they still do, and in medieval times it was safer for them to drink beer than well water. A few tablespoons of wine in a glass of juice isn't going to turn these (fictional) pebbles into raging drunks.

 

 **mole** \- again, just spanish for 'sauce', but in mainstream american cooking it's taken to mean the red sauce finished with chocolate and served over meat (turkey specifically in a lot of recipes we read), but also popular over enchiladas. The sauce is dark because of the roasted chiles and unsweetened chocolate, but it doesn't actually taste like chocolate. Real moles do often have over forty ingredients, traditionally each one ground separately, by hand. The ingredients for this recipe came off the net and it has not been tested… yet.

 

 **Ebzawti** \- the spice epazote; dysphania ambrosioides, used in Mexican cooking to ‘tame’ is gaseous tendencies.

 

 **j’ros** \- churros sort of Mexican crullers.Fried dough.

 

 

Chapter 53

 

 **Shovel talk** \- “You’re dating/marrying my son/daughter/relative, and if you hurt him/her/them, I will kill you with a shovel.”Possibly not literally, but that is the gist of it.

 

 **Smeg-head** \- From Red Dwarf, BBC2 1988  & 1993, then 1997-1999.An awesome sci-fi British comedy.The main character, Dave Lister seems fond of the word.As to the correct definition, you may research further on your own if you really want to know.We already know, so you don’t have to tell us, thank you very much.

 

 **Youngling Broody Grumpy Dragon** \- Yes to the tune of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon theme song during the early 1990’s, it was carried on CBS.Stevie had a flashback and it hurt.

 

 **who’s on first** \- The Bud Abbott and Lou Costello skit.It’s on You Tube.Still funny after all these years.If you’re unfamiliar with American baseball, try reading this first: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who%27s_on_First%3F>

 

 **Amrâlimê** \- Kili’s trying to say he loves her but he’s a dork and the star isn’t called that.Don’t worry, we won’t be forgetting about this.As you know things have a way of ….happening, in this dwarrow soap opera.

 

Chapter 54

 

 **slightly citrusy** \- It’s Earl Grey….hot.

 

 **crowned heads of Arda** \- Crowned heads of Europe - Wizard of Oz.

 

 **here we are again, all the same** \- Lydia Wickham nee Bennet in P &P

 

 **Pelican** \- in case any are unfamiliar with this type of sea bird;

 

Chapter55

 

 **the talk** \- the explanation parent tell their children when discussing sex with them.Sometimes referred to as telling them about ‘the birds and the bees’.

 

 _In case you missed it at the end here are the notes about the stones on Thorin’s crown_ -

 **Lapis lazuli** -  truth, wisdom, awareness  
**Ruby** \- vitality and royalty  
**Tiger eye** \- Relieves doubt  
**Snowflake obsidian** \- Focus amid chaos, dispersal of negative emotions, including greed.  
**Fire opal** \- Optimism, confidence, joy of the heart, can stimulate sex organs  
Yes, the ravens are being little shits.

 

Chapter 56

 

**They’ll drop trou’** \- Actually means drop [their] trousers, but here Nori means they will drop everything and move to Erebor.

 

 **Lemon fluff** \- a lemon flavored light pudding.Yes, there’s a recipe.

 

Chapter 57

 

 **Dowser** \- someone who can locate water beneath the ground.Can be done with sticks or pendulums.

 

 **pasty** \- like the traditional Cornish pasty, shortcrust pastry turnover with meat, potatoes, and/or vegetables.

 

 **Chips, cheese and chicken gravy** \- poutine, French-Canadian junk food.Food of the gods and easy to make.

 

**chop him into pieces and then chop those pieces into smaller pieces and** \- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.Arthur Dent about the council guy trying to bulldoze his house.

 

 **Elements of Scrivening by S’tuk son of Dutuk and Whilf daughter of Nililf** \- Elements of Style by Wiiliam Strunk and E. B. White aka Strunk & White. 

 

 

Chapter 58

 

 **melud** \- Bofur’s way of saying ‘my lord’

 

 **get a wiggle on** \- In Stevie’s family, ‘hurry up’.

 

 **were in equal tizzies over** -were in equal their excitement over

 

Chapter 59

 

 **Goldfinches** \- if you don’t have these where you live, the latin name for the ones we’re thinking of is Carduéis tr ístis.

 

 **indigo bunting** \- another bird, latin name is Passeríina cyánea.

 

 **Mae carnen, Brego.Mellon nîn** \- “Well done, Brego, my friend” Aragorn says this in LoTR Two Towers.It fits nicely here.

 

 **leaf of Lórien brooch** \- Given to all the fellowship by Lady Galadriel in the Fellowship of the Ring.

 

 **mithril pendant with white gems** \- Arwen’s gift in the Fellowship of the Ring.

 

 **Court of Miracles** \- it’s a thing.

 

 **Glad rags** \- good clothes, in this case, Dwalin’s dress uniform.

 

Chapter 60

 

 **bread** he always talks about that was very yellow, made with eggs and braided but he doesn’t know what it’s called - Yeah it’s challah.Delicious!!

 

 

Chapter 61

 

 **deep cavern mushrooms** \- Imagine giant portobello mushrooms.

 

 **flowering hawthorn** \- Crataegus douglasii.

 

 

Chapter 62

l

 **conies** \- rabbits

 

 **shorter an’ wider** \- from Dwalin and Bain’s greetings to each other at the beginning of ‘The Unexpected Adventure’

 

 **Blunt the knives and bend the forks** \- - The rude song the company sang in Bilbo’s home at the beginning of The ‘Unexpected Adventure'.The one in the book is a little different.

 

 **azzip** \- Yes, it’s pizza.After all what’s a dance party where you do the ‘wag’, if you don’t eat pizza and drink fruit soda pop.

 

 

**Chapter 63**

 

 **What’s happening out there?** \- Legolas and Gimli’s conversation on the great wall in Helm’s Deep in the LoTR movie Two Towers.

 

 **Oliphaunt** \- check your Tolkien! They’re there.

 

 **ad-Ori-ble** \- Someone of genius imagination sent Adam Brown a tee-shirt with this written on it.The pic is floating around the ‘net.Whoever they are, they’re wonderful.

 

**Chapter 66**

 

 **Nana** \- Sindarin for mother

 

 **nine months** \- this was an excuse back in olden times. You know when dinosaurs roamed the earth, when Stevie was a kiddo and heard her great aunts talking.

 

**Chapter 67**

 

 **Damping** \- your underdress/petticoat was a ways of showing off your ahem…attributes back in Regency England.Very socking and _fast_!

 

 **Thank you, thank you very much** \-  Hey, he is kinda dressed like Elvis….

 

 **Roscobal Rabbits**.Very large and very fast.They pull Radagahst’s sled in the 1st Hobbit movie, An Unexpected Adventure.C’mon, what’s a fairytale without giant bunnies?

 

“ **The trick is getting him to Shut. Up.** ” - Yeah, we loved the movie Shrek.

 

 **King of Pain** \- A Police song, as opposed to the King of Suede, which isn’t.

 

 **I have never been so wrong.** \- Thorin hugging Bilbo in the almost last scene from the in the Hobbit movie ‘An Unexpected Adventure’

 

 **barrow-wight** \- You remember them from the book ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’.

 

 ** _Dashing through the grass_** _-_ To the tune of “Jingle bells”, of course.It is a sleigh after all.

 

**onyx** \- absorbs evil and eliminates negative thought, fosters spiritual connection and sharpens wits, stretches heart and kidneys, reduces stress, improves neurological problems and promotes restful sleep, grounding.

 

**hang this in yer window** \- yes, Snur gave them a wind chime, too.

 

**large circles of glass -** Somehow Ulfr has invented perpetual neon lighting.How?We have no idea, we’re not genius dwarf chemists.

 

**Nag Champa** \- all the incenses mentioned do exist. This one is readily available and does smell lovely. It’s a mostly a mix of sandalwood and frangipani.

 

**Raphcuctus birds**. - Cmon, you know what these are!Yes, you do.Reread the description.Stuck?Google ‘Raphus cucullatus’.Yes, we did have a wonderful time putting these in. The most difficult decision was to decide what noise they would make!We settled on a mix of all the suggestions we came across, including that super cool ‘clunking’ noise shoebill storks make.We have no idea if only females have blue tongues.It seemed like a good idea. And we went a tad overboard with the tail feathers.

 

**weird, shiny stuff** \- It’s rubber, well, rubber from Middle Earth which means it is easily dyed pretty colors and dries very fast.

 

 **aurochs** \- This is actually an ancient breed of cattle.Google it.It went extinct in the 1960’s.

 

 **Windy Poplars** \- Yeah, it’s from the Anne series by L.M. Montgomery. ‘Anne of Windy Poplars’ is the four book about Anne Shirley and Stevie’s favorite

 

**little box of plain** \- yup it’s the box Galadriel gave Sam in ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’, a direct quote, so you know what’s in it!

 

**light of Eärendil’s star** \- another quote, slightly tweaked.Galadriel’s gift to Frodo, “The Fellowship of the Ring”.

 

**Chapter 69**

 

 **“Me Zey-dis”** \- this is a favorite with Dolly and Stevie.We just altered the words to dwarrowfy them.The original is the wonderful “My Zelda” by the late great Allan Sherman, from his album My Son, the Folk Singer, 1962.It’s on you-tube and worth a listen to get the rollicking tune.His stuff is a delight.The song he was parodying (yes, this is a parody of a parody), was Mathilda, famously recorded in 1953 by Harry Belafonte (DAY-O!), but actually written in the 1930s.

 

 **Dain’s song** for Thorin is of course a rip of Robert Burn’s poem “My love.”The old leacher could write poetry.

 

 **White Castle** \- American fast-food burger chain.Little, square burgers, round buns.Go figure.

 

 

**Chapter 71**

 

 **And, in me own defense, water and nitroglycerin are both clear liquids** \- a paraphrase from the amazing actor Graham Greene.He was playing Edgar K. B. Montrose in the delightful TV show Red Green, Season 7, episode #148.The actual line was ‘and, in me own defense, chemical paint stripper and nitroglycerin are both clear liquids’.

 

 **Pull for the shore, Ulwe, Pull for the shore, Waaay-haaay, pull for the shore!** \- To the tune of “Blow the man down.

 

 **slowing down in front of number 26** \- Lobelia is a good deal like Hyacinth Bucket from the Brit sit-com ‘Keeping Up Appearances’, isn’t she.Lobelia is a good deal more vicious, of course, and refuses to have room for a pony.

 

**Chapter 73**

 

**mine cart an’ drive ‘em off a cliff** \- From a probably apocryphal story by an old time radio character named Charley Weaver.Supposedly, the radio soap opera writers got tired of their characters, put them on a bus, drove them over a cliff and started the next day with all new characters.Weaver was the invention of actor Clifford Arquette (b. 1905), who, among other things, was the grandfather of Alexis and David Arquette, and all their other acting sibs.He also invented the first ‘breathable’ rubber facial prosthetic for actors to wear on stage and screen.In other words, the makeup the actors wear in the LOTRs originated with him, because it’s small damned world.

 

 **What else do your elf ears hear** \- What else do your elf eyes see? - Aragorn.

 

 **nappie** \- British term for the American ‘diaper’

 

 **weirdest herd** \- Ice Age (the 1st movie) back in 2002

 

 **chantilly cake** \- Dolly and Stevie do intend to make one of these.If it’s yummy, we’ll add it to the recipes….As soon as we get a chance to make that addition to the series.

 

 **pay no attention to what goes on behind the curtains** \- Wizard of Oz, again. “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”

 

 **“As if we’d run out.”** \- The incomparable Morticia Addams again.

 

**“O, thou hast slain me!" she wailed, and with that she clutched her heart, staggered backward, lurched to the left,**

**and gracefully swooned.** \- Fainting Maid, Chapter 6, Bridge of Birds, Barry Hughart.An extremely strange yet oddly satisfying novel.

 

 **Are you arguing with The Narrator?** \- George of the Jungle movie from 1997.

 

 **That’ll do, pig** \- from the movie ‘Babe’ back in 1995

 

 **Do, or do not.There is no ‘try** ’. - Yup.Yoda.Maybe Tharkûn dropped by for tea while Luke was sleeping or something.

 

 **Oink!Oink!Oink, brave pigs** \- works well to the tune of row, row, row your boat.

 

**Chapter 74**

 

 **Old flows** \- You all did realize Erebor was an active volcano, right?Well, you know it now.

 

 **made himself unpresentable** \- polite way of saying he’s got a boner.

 

**Arsefelloff** \- Margr’s having difficulty saying Asfaloth, the name of Glorfindel’s horse.Or, maybe she just thinks it’s funnier this way.

 

**An’ she et it** \- This was inspired by the marvelous story the amazing author and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, tells of receiving a letter from a child thanking him for writing.He drew a picture for the child and sent it back.The child’s mother wrote Mr. Sendak to tell him that the child loved the card so much he ate it.

 

**Chapter 75**

 

 **Old Swinger** \- from Song of the Loon, part two, Song of Aaron by Richard Amory, published by Greenleaf(!) Classics, ©1967.Good luck getting hold of a copy, try your local library for interlibrary loan.Stevie got hers via either Harvard or Yale, she can’t remember.Before you decide to read it or any part of the Song of the Loon cycle be advised that it hails from the early days of gay romance novels and is… Think about the author’s name.What is the short form of Richard (not Rick, try again,) and what does the word Amor mean in English?Amory was his pen name, by the way.His real last name was ‘Lovelace’.Makes you wonder why he bothered.

 

 **Crumb** \- Crom, yes Stevie did read way too many issues of Epic’s ‘Conan the Barbarian’ when she was a teenager.It was inevitable a vestige would pop up here.Fabio has to take some of the blame, too.

 

 **“Where’s my sword?Where’s my sword?** \- There is somewhere a clip of dear Mark Hadlow in costume as Dori, trotting around the studio, muttering “Where’s me sword, where’s me sword”Of course Stevie, can’t find it anymore…:(

 

 **Mullis** \- A dwarfification of the portuguese Malassadas (muhluhSAHdish) - Something from Dolly’s childhood and when introduced to it, Stevie loved it.It’s just as described, and usually made and sold by ladies in the church basement on Sunday mornings after mass.It’s approximately the same thing as a dough boy or fry bread, but much sweeter, and usually covered in granulated sugar which melts into a wet, sticky glaze, and drips down your chin.

 

 **Beehive** \- It’s a beehive hairdo from the 50’s.Google it.They’re… fascinating.

 

 **Pony-crest** \- kid’s got a punk-rock mohawk.

 

 **Wings aloft** \- she now looks like an 80’s chick.The feathered part is from the amazing Korean American stand up comic, Margaret Cho.The comment went along the lines of ‘my hair was so feathered the back of my head looked like a butt.’Ms. Cho is a genius and one of Stevie’s and Dolly’s favorite comics.

 

 **Astral** \- kid now looks like Astro Boy.

 

 **Wire sphere** \- Nardix’s got a dwarf ‘fro.

 

**Chapter 76**

 

 **Stoors** \- early hobbits, who were tough and known to be able to grow beards.

 

 **Dog of Dale** \- Pug.There were pugs all over the place in Desolation of Smaug. 

 

**Chapter 78**

 

 **Coos** \- cows

 

**Chapter 79**

 

 **Figrid, Kiliel, Gigolas** \- yeah, we couldn’t resist.All hail the inventors of pairing tags!

 

**Chapter 80**

 

 **Samos** \- samosas.If you’ve never had them, try them, packets of pure bliss!

 

 **Bard put in his two coppers** \- An old US expression, putting in your two cents, giving your opinion asked or unasked.

 

 **It's terrible when you stutter** \- Heh.Addams Family movie.

 

 

**Chapter 82**

 

 **Ostrakai** \- dwarfification of the Greek ostrakon, which was a thing in ancient days.Broken pottery was used like scratch paper because it was plentiful and free.The pieces were also used as secret balloting chips to decide if a citizen would be cast out of a city or town for any number of years, which is the origin of the word ’ostracize’. 

 

**Chapter 83**

 

 **many-leaved pastry filled with a sweet mixture** \- They’re eating baklava.Divine!!

 

 

**Chapter 85**

 

 **Explicit little books** \- From about the 1920s through the 1950s these raunchy sex comics were sold under counters at magazine stands and cigar stores and through ads in men's magazines to not-so-discerning gentlemen.Called 'Tijuana Bilbles', these lewd, politically incorrect little books, along with pornographic photos, were the easiest explicit material to obtain in the US for much of the twentieth century.End of lesson.

 

 **Pressed sugar and fruit roundels threaded on cord** \- Candy necklaces.The cord always got way too wet to keep wearing them after you bit off the first dozen or so.Unlike ours, the ones in the story are actually made with ingredients found in nature.

 

 **a taxidermied hare** \- OK-ok-ok, Steveie just had to put in a jackalope.

 

 **Are you a gambling dwarf, Lord Ori** \- “Are you a married man, Mr. Letterman?” the late great Betty Davis.

 

 **Sungraphic** \- Hmmm, treated paper that needs to be exposed to light to make an image appear.Now what could this be?Of course, dwarrow would have invented it.

 

 **Jellied rose petals covered in bittersweet** **xocolātl** \- dark chocolate covered Turkish delight. Damn yummy stuff.

 

 

**Chapter 87**

 

 **Macrame** \- Orocarni word for all the primping and decorating dwarrow do to their beards.What?You don’t believe us???

 

 **if not for those shitty little scribes** -“If not for you meddling kids.”Yeah, we loved watching Scooby-Doo cartoons.

 

**Chapter 88**

 

 **It’s a great game** \- fabulous crack from Bofur in Unexpected Journey.We couldn’t resist!

 

 **bag of paper thin slices of potatoes** \- UK = crisps, USA = potato chips!!!

 

**Chapter 89**

 

**Esoterically, if you cut a sunflower** \- Informaintion from Scott Cunningham.

“Cunningham’s Encyclopedia pf Magical Herbs”.St. Paul, MI : Llewellyn Publications, c. 1994.

1st edition.

Page 205. 

Llewellyn’s Sourcebook Series.

 

**Chapter 90**

 

**whether he had a horn or a wen** \- Stevie’s been reading L. M. Montgomery’s “The Blue Castle” lately.Edward Beck’s wen got to her.

 

 **Birnam Wood** \- the newest growth from Fangon to  Lórien reaching along both the River Anduin and Silverlode River.

 

Chapter 92

 

 **Shirt of mithril** \- Yup, it’s the one Thorin gifts to Bilbo in Tolkien’s original Hobbit.

 

 **fried dough around bacon-wrapped hard boiled eggs** \- a derivation on the old fashioned scotch eggYou use sausage meat instead of bacon.

 

 **toast with a tangy mix of sharp cheese, mustard, and egg over it**. - one of many versions of Welsh rarebit.

 

Chapter 93

 

 **Silmarils** \- If you want to know about these read the Silmarilian by Tolkien.We’re not going to get buried in it in this story - OK maybe just a little bit….

 

 **“What a merry party we shall be,”** \- Lydia Bennet, P &P.

 

 **Dunsinane** \- the eastern mountain side, known to the men of Rohan and the Brown lands by this name.

 

 **I’ll fight’ yeh wi’ one wing tied behind me back** \- The Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz movie.

 

Chapter 95

 

 **rugged travel boots** \- Er…um…Stevie had a jedi moment.

 

 **Here come the dwarrow to Greenwood** \- to the tune of Westside Story’s ‘America’; music by Leonard Bernstein and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim;  © 1957.

 

**Do you see what I see?** \- To the tune of ‘Do you hear what I hear’, an old standard. (Yes, we did write this chapter at the end of December during the winter holidays and were ‘ _influenced’_!)

 

**See The Dwarves!** \- To the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’ but the chorus, not the first verse which Radagast provided us with.Don’t sing them together, it sounds weird.

 

**Four!** \- Yes, just like Pippin in the Two Towers, Kili has eaten four lembas.

 

 **bowls of chopped apples, celery…** \- they’re eating Waldorf salad.

 

 **Corn pudding** is a thing and yummy.It contains corn, creamed corn, corn muffin mix, and a great deal of butter.Everyone has their own recipe.

 

 **fruit soup** \- from Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, souvenir edition; Meredith Publishing,  ©1965; page 205.

 

Chapter 96

 

 **Soda bread** \- very good.The Irish version has raisins or dried currants in it.

 

 **baked eggs and bread** \- like a french toast casserole.

 

 **get in yer tubes** \- Inside bits referred to as tubes from the movie and in @Smuttysmutwriter’s ‘Importance of Being Ori’.Read it.It’s great fun.

 

 **Neccrocs** \- Dain made them up, there’s no such thing as ‘zombie’ orcs.

 

 **Hook** \- Remember the old ‘scary’ story usually told around camp fires about the hooked arm man who killed people?If you don’t, it’s included in Snopes website at: [https//www.snopes.com/horrors/madmen/hook.asp](http://www.snopes.com/horrors/madmen/hook.asp)

 

Chapter 98

 

 **Caras Galadhon** \- We’ve decided this is the capitol city of  Lórien.

 

 **Anduin** \- the great river that separates (sort of) the Misty Mountains from the Greenwood.

 

 **Nimrodil** \- a river that runs through Lórien from the Misty Mountains.

 

 **Silverlode** \- the other river that runs through Lórien from the Misty Mountains, its waters are notoriously frigid

 

 **Naith of Lórien** \- the outskirt of the capitol Caras Galadhon

 

 **groundnut paste and jam** \- Yup, he’s having pbj’s for breakfast, pbj is US slang for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, though these are usually with white bread.

 

 **You’re out of the woods, […] Open!** \- Yes we’ve lifted this wholly from the Wizard of Oz movie from 1939.(except for exchanging ‘earth’ for ‘ada’) It’s the song from the part when they enter the Emerald City, music and lyrics by Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg.

 

 **Perfection Salad** \- from Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, souvenir edition; Meredith Publishing,  ©1965; page 320.Cherry Jubilee Ring and Spiced Orange Mold on page 316

 

 **One does not just walk into Mordor** \- You all know the joke/meme.

 

Chapter 99

 

 **Caradhras, Celebdil, and Fanuidhol** \- the highest peaks in the Misty Mountains.Khazad-dûm is under them.

 

 **cries ‘hold, enough!’** \- Brush up your Shakespeare’s Macbeth…then you’ll get both jokes!

 

Chapter 100

 

 **For a moment it glimmered,[…] sparkled with white fire.** \- Yup, lifted almost completely from the chapter ‘Shelob’s lair’ in ‘Two Towers’ ©1994 from Ballintine Books.

 

W **hat a smell of sulphur** \- Glinda - Wizard of Oz (film).

 

 **uruk** \- or a stormtrooper for that matter.Yup, another Star Wars reference.

 

 **Bonebreakers** \- this is actually a real bird though we have, like the raphcuctus, ‘altered’ them a little.Check out Wikipedia’s page for Bearded Vulture.Or throw it in Google images for pics. 

 

Chapter 101

 

 **That’s you all over** \- Tin Man to the Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.

 

Chapter 102

 

**the young prince crowed** \- Like in the Return of the King (P.J.’s movie) and Pippin jumping on Frodo’s bed.Except we let tall people jump on it, too and this is no where near the end of this tale.

 

 **Excellent explosion** \- Natoru of the court of the King of Cats in Miyazaki’s “The Cat Returns” (2002), voiced by Andy Richter in the English dub.

 

 **Misty Lake** \- a very lovely lake filling the place where  Khazad-dûm used to be.

 

Chapter 103

 

 **You liquidated him** \- You liquidated her - Wizard of Oz(film)

 

 **Doodle sack** \- it’s a real word!

 

Chapter 104

 

 **I like kissing too much**. - Babycakes - Amisted Maupin, 1984, originally serialized in the San Francisco Chronicle.

 

 **There’s a layer cake** \- yes, Kili knows how to make a cake without using eggs.Which with the right balance of ingredients you can do.The recipe for Granny Klak’s ginger cake doesn’t need eggs, by the by.

 

 **small crushed snails** \- check out Snotes for the rumor <https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/seafood-revenge/>

 

 **Hannon le, ada** \- ‘yo, poppingtons’ in elvish.No-no-no, really, it translates to

“Thank you, Father.”

 

 **a lick and a promise** \- an old fashioned expression some of you may not have heard; boils down to skimming over your work.In this case we can say, maybe Dain washed his face if the Company was lucky.

 

**great balls of fire.** “Goodness gracious, - yes, we reversed the lyrics order.1957. sung by Jerry Lee Lewis written by Otis Blackwell and Jack Hammer.

 

 **vessel was much larger** \-  Because of the wagons and the doors we’re talking something in the nature of a schooner sized ship here

 

Chapter 106

 

**Hello, me bebeh** \- Some of you will remember this from the singing ofMichigan J. Frog in the 1955 Warner Bros. cartoon, ‘One Froggy Evening’.It made us giggle.The original was written in 1899 by Howard and Edmond of Tin Pan Alley fame, but we’re sticking with Mr. M. J. Frog as our inspiration.

 

Chapter 108

 

**Tail feathers** \- crows and ravens do this in real life because they’re little shits.

 

**Kelli bowed over her wing** \- Somehow Kelli is turning into Beau Brummell-esque regency gentleman.We apologize as we lack any control over this metamorphosis.

 

**Easy clean up** \- we have no idea how the dwarrow invented then lost the secret of teflon.

 

**Telerin** \- precursor to Quenya

 

 **There once was a lady fra’ Eregion** \- apparently Dain IV was channeling the late William Cosmo Monkhouse’s limerick ‘There was a young lady from Niger’.

 

 **Tam** \- a style of hat, pretty much a beret.

 

 **stop a skunk from smelling** \- one of many, many, riddles from old children’s books

 

Chapter 109

 

 **And who could blame poor Dori** \- P &P, (A&E) Who could blame poor Jane.

 

 **the pigs had got into the garden** \- P &P, (A&E) Lizzie at first sight of Anne DeBurgh.

 

Chapter 110

 

 **Whack thing with** \- sticks to whack things with - Daddy Long-Legs by Jean Webster, 1st published in 1912

 

 **puff pastry with asparagus** \- recipe from the Llewellyn’s 2018 Witches’ Datebook.It’s delicious.

 

Chapter 111

 

t **hree tiny cups attached by tubing** \- yes, Oin has invented a stethoscope

 

 **eldwis** \- Leontopodium nivale - edelweiss

 

**small metal cylinder** \- the snake in a can, usually labeled with something like ‘peanuts’ etc, was a standard ‘joke’ present.Who could resist putting it in?We couldn’t obviously.

 

 **Tempter, I can no longer resist your charms!** \- Barnyard tv series - pig amock.Technically it was temptress.It’s a funny line.

 

Chapter 113

 

**string art** \- it was a thing and is fun to do but ghastly to see as decorations.

 

**Danny-boy** \- ‘Oh Danny boy the pipes, the pipes are calling’, it’s a song.

 

Chapter 115

 

**Happy thought, indeed** \- Lizzie, P &P 1996

 

**Roscobal Hop** \- look up a video of the dance the bunny hop.

 

Chapter 116

 

 **Edible undies** \- no, we didn’t invent this, it’s a thing but never very delicious.We like to think ours are fabulously yummy.

 

 **Easterlings** \- these are a people who were allied with Sauron in the original.We figured their society would have imploded with his defeat and removal.

 

 **mahml** \- mamoul - Very tasty

 

 **Nataj** \- from the Portuguese ‘pasteis de nata’, literally ‘pastries of cream’.Any number of particular nummies, but particularly egg custard tarts

 

 **bits of** **xocolātl** **with hard sugar shells** \- you all know what these are.

 

 **nathith** \- daughter.

 

 **spun sugar** \- yup, Buer has invented cotton candy!

 

Chapter 117

 

**exponent of arithmetic** \- yes, teaching horse (or any animals) to ‘count’ is a pretty common trick.Most of the things at the fun fair are versions of things you’d find at a fun fair or carnival anywhere.

 

**blue-black feathers, gray feet** \- This is basically a Polish chicken.They look as described as we thoroughly perused http://www.poultyhub.org/site to decide what kind of rooster Theoden should pick up.

 

**flavored, shaved ice** \- aka a snow-cone.The blue one make you look like you stole a chow dog’s tongue.

 

**Twenty-three feet** \- the weight and length were a rough estimate of the average America alligator.Smeg II is big!

 

**It had two heads** \- Snake enthusiasts will probably guess, but this is a python from New Guinea Morelia boeleni commonly known as Boelen’s python of Black python.

 

**Yeh can’t use yer hands, though** \- If you’re familiar with a few party games from the UK, this one is based off the one simply called treacle scones.Really big scone with a hole, and tied with string to a line pretty much above any party-goer’s head.Cover the floor with newspapers, and pour treacle over the scone.Basically, the point is to see how much treacle gets on people’s faces.

 

**Ducking for apples** \- old common game at Halloween parties.Not much done anymore as people are very aware of GERMS!

 

**Rock blunts scissors** \- yup, Rock, Paper, Scissors: rock blunts scissors, paper wraps rock, scissors cut paper.

 

**They ate…** \- funnel cake, burgers, corn dogs, banana splits, and chip butties!

Really it’s amazing only Glorfidel was sick.

 

**Plant with a fish**. - The fish makes nutrients for the plants the plant reciprocates, blah-blah-blah, you know how it works.Usually just one as those kinds of fish fight 

 

**peculiar, straggly-looking plants** — Venus fly-trap (Dionaea muscipula), Sundew (Drosera capensis) and Pitcher plant (Sarracenia)

 

**familiar large, round nut** \- this is a very old fashioned ‘coconut shy’, if you were an evil stall owner you nailed the nuts to the posts, so no one would win.

 

**Hats** \- you’ve got to have a funny hat if you’re partying at a fun fair.

 

**diorama of circus acts** \- as you suppose it is a flea circus and no fleas were ever involved,

 

**two tongues** \- yes, if you have your tongue bisected, the two sides can move independently.

 

 **At least I hope she’s drunk** \- from the movie ‘Four weddings and a funeral’ 1994, directed by Mike Newell. 

 

 **silver bowls and little white bal** l. - another carnival game/magician’s trick. Cups are used, too.

 

 **vast black canvas** \- and the dwarrow have just invented trampolines for all Arda and just in time for a bunch of drunk elves to test it out!Catching a brass ring was usually for merry-go-rounds as if you caught one you got another ride for free.

 

 **thick xocolātl cream, flavored with hazelnuts** \- yup, it’s Nutella®!Both Stevie and Dolly recommend it!

 

 **bright blue baggy jumpsuit** \- if you’re old like us, you probably remember ‘Bozo the Clown™’.But in keeping with modern sensibilities, he’s an evil clown.

 

“ **Fly, you fools!** ” - Oh hush, you’ve seen the movies.We thought it would be fun to give Thorin the line.

 

 **hold my ale** \- technically, the line is ‘hold my beer and watch this!’.

 

 **Ulwe’s Boat** \- this is based off one of the first of the ‘rides’ at carnivals. The one we got the idea for is called “Sea-On-Land, designed by Frederick Savage.It was the first amusement ride installed in Dreamland Margate in 1880.Wikipedia has a nice pic.Of course no water was involved with that one.

 

 **Castle Bounce** = bouncy castle/house.

 

Chapter 118

 

 **balls of xocolatl frozen custard, mixed** \- OK, Stevie admits it.They’re eating her favorite ice cream; Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. Orras added the cotton candy.

 

 **sidesaddle** \- this is really is a thing and a type of saddle.A thing for fine ladies in long dresses as it was too shocking to ride astride in a long dress.

 

 **Bring out your dead!Bring out your dead!** \- Monty Python’s Holy Grail, 1975, directed by Terry Gulliam and Terry Jones.

 

 **well wrapped package** \- Thorin is a good host and made sure that Haldir will get the meal he missed.

 

 **guddled** \- guddling for fish is the same as fish tickling. But you get the idea of Ori ‘fishing’ around in the basket. (Hardee-har-har)

 

 **pigweed** \- “an amaranth that grows as a weed or is used for fodder.” - Thank you Mac Book dictionary.It grows fast, too.

 

**dried bacon cooked in maple syrup** \- or doused with maple syrup while cooking, sometimes called ‘pig candy’.

 

chapter 119

 

**Are you sober […] Fruit soda water all night** \- again, Four weddings and a funeral.Technically ‘orange juice all night’.

 

chapter 121

 

 **What’s a god** \- they have valar, you know your Tolkien, it’s something of a different concept….or at least it alway seemed so to Dolly and Stevie.

 

**bags** \- pajama cases.

 

chapter 122  
with bangs bowed out to just above his brows - look at the old cartoons of ‘Josie and the Pussycats’, Hanna-Barbara ©19-.  
forsythia - in case you live in a place where these don’t grow:   
  
chapter 124  


 **These pigs were unique** \- these are ‘protest pigs’ which you can read about in Wikipedia.  Stevie had a good time looking at lots of pictures of different sorts of pigs before deciding on these pretty ones.  
 **Hallow’s special goats** \- fainting goats!  Who could resist having these around.  
 **bright orange chickens** \- Barnvelder chickens. Check them out on Poultry Hub.    
 **In a hole in the ground lived a** \- you all know that’s the opening of the Hobbit!  We couldn’t resist!  
 **boing-boing curls** \- Stevie, in youth, was said to have these.  It’s from One of Beverly Cleary’s book about Ramona (we think).  
 **If I were king of pleasure** \- from King Of Morning, Queen Of Day by Horslips  
 **star-object bobbed** \- yup, its a piñata. Hobbits do know how to do parties!  
 **wenchin** ' - wenching, an old word having sex with lots of different women  
or prostitutes.  
  
Chapter 125

 **sappers** \- “a soldier responsible for tasks such as building and repairing roads and bridges, laying and clearing mines, etc.” - Dictionary v.2.2.2(2013) ©2005-2017 Apple Inc.  
 **gleaners** \- ones who take up leftover grain or in this case, metals or gems from mines after the miners have taken all they can.  
  
Chapter 126

 **Gummy sap guild** \- “we represent the Lollipop Guild…..”  Yup, you know.  
  
Chapter 127

 **puchulay** \- patchouli.  Some people like it, some people  hate it, but it is a very strong scent either way.  
consult and otherwise hob-nob - Wizard of Oz movie inspiration again  
  
Chapter 128

 **lucky gold piece** \- this is kinda like a bride throwing the bouquet or the sixpence in UK Christmas pudding  
shimmied - Bearers can belly dance, who knew!  And now, thanks to Binni, so can Nori.  
  
Chapter 130

  
 **Rainbow trout** \- Oncorhynchus mykiss, if you don’t have them where you are.    
 **balrogs and basements** \- you know what it is and we all know Gridr would be a wonderful…er…basement supervisor.

 

_….this will continue to be updated as we think up more weird stuff._

  
_….this will continue to be updated as we think up more weird stuff._


End file.
